It is very difficult managing education, work, business, etc with marriage as a woman. You need to develop some level of self-discipline to achieve that successfully. Below is what popular actress Iya Awero (Lanre Hassan) who had to master the art told Punch about the clash of her career and her marriage in the early days:
Why didn’t you marry someone from the industry?
My husband thought that when we got married, I would quit my acting career but I continued and we had a lot of tough times in our marriage because of that. It is just a pity that he is dead and cannot see what I have become. At a point, my ‘uncles’ in the industry had to sit him down to talk to him and convince him that our work was a legitimate one. He agreed but there were lots of fights, especially whenever I went to locations. But I handled the situation very well because I made him trust me. I made sure he knew my whereabouts at every point in time. I made him remember he met me as an actress and I was not cheating, and before long, he accepted. I must confess that my acting career almost broke my marriage but God was in control. I would advise actresses to be plain and open with their husbands.
How have you been able to cope without having s*x for 13 years?
I have been coping fine. S*x is not garri or rice; it is not food. You have to cope once you are determined about what you want to do and you will be fine.
How did you meet your husband?
I loved films a lot and I used to go to cinema houses to watch Indian movies and the like. I did not know that my husband had been watching me and had already known my movement. One lovely night, I was walking briskly home when he offered to walk me to my house. I told him to leave me alone but he said that he knew where I lived and I was shocked. He told me that he normally followed me to the house whenever I went to watch movies to ensure that I got home safely before he would turn back. That day, he followed me home and that was how we started interacting.
How did it lead to marriage?
There was no need of proposing when we both knew what we wanted from the relationship. We were mature adults and we had been seeing each other for a while. What he thought was that once we got married, I would stop acting but that did not happen.
He died about 13 years ago, what happened?
He fell ill and the next thing I heard was that he was dead and there was nothing I could do about it.
Did you not have any suitor that swept you off your feet?
They came but I had already made up my mind and that was final. Once I make up my mind, then there is nothing anybody can do about it. When they used to come, I would greet and tell them immediately that we could not get married because I had to look after my children and I could not leave my work. One should learn to stand firm and do what has to be done.
How were you able to face your career and still take care of your children?
I used to take my children along with me to whereever I travelled to. It was when they were about two years old that I told my mother to help look after them occasionally. She has been very helpful to me. There was a time our vehicle broke down in the bush and my child was just about three months old, but I was not scared. I slept there and nothing happened to me and that was not the first time I would sleep outside. The job toughens a person.
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